Perception is Everything

20 April 2012

A positive attitude makes all the difference in the world. Most people believe that to be true, but many have a hard time applying it to their lives. Our attitude, like most aspects of our personality, is a habit. If we allow ourselves to run on auto-pilot based on negative emotions and perceptions, we run the risk of living unhappy lives.

Most mornings, a rambunctious three year-old Great Dane bounding through my home brings me joy, but there are mornings when it’s annoying. The dog, Gracie, acts the same every day. Her attitude is always exuberant! The only difference is my perception.

In order to be happy, it is essential to be grateful. A pile of dirty dishes can evoke grumbling, or gratitude that a meal was enjoyed. We can be sad that something good has come to an end, or glad that it happened. So much of what we deem “good” and “bad” in our lives is dependent upon our perceptions.

Today I choose to laugh at Gracie’s antics, and smile as I wash the dishes. Instead of dreading obstacles that come my way, I’ll tackle them. I will count my blessings, not my sorrows.

Wishing you a joyful day!

Why I Write for Kids and Teens

15 March 2012

Hope.

I often quote from S.E. Hinton’s The Outsiders about “staying gold.” Here are Johnny’s words on his deathbed to Ponyboy:

“…you’re gold when you’re a kid, like green. When you’re a kid, everything’s new, dawn. It’s just when you get used to everything that it’s day. Like the way you dig sunsets, Pony. That’s gold. Keep that way, it’s a good way to be.”

Most kids and teens still believe in hopes and dreams. The world can be tough, and many people become jaded as they get older, either by their circumstances, or by their mindset about their circumstances. They no longer believe in the possibilities that surround them. They settle. They give up. They fail to see the beauty in things. They lose hope.

Children and teens are often idealistic. Some people think of idealism as a negative thing. All my life I’ve been told to “be more realistic.”  My thesaurus lists impractical, romantic, unrealistic, and optimistic under the word idealistic. I’ve been called all those things, and I take them as compliments!

If growing up means becoming practical, unromantic, realistic, and pessimistic, then I don’t want to grow up. Ever!

Stay gold and happy writing!

 

 

Don’t Turn Mistakes into Crimes

21 February 2012

“Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.” ~ Confucius

I HATE making mistakes! I know we all do, but as a closet perfectionist, I sometimes take them way too seriously. If you’re a writer human, you will make mistakes. Learn from them and let them go. The most important thing is to not give up.

Do you ever send out email queries and then read them again from your “sent” folder after they’ve already gone out? There have been times I’ve spent an hour perfecting an email and then, after it’s too late, checked it one more time. Sometimes there’s a mistake I didn’t catch before I hit send. Arrrgh!

Then there are the really BIG mistakes. Like when you finally realize what’s wrong with your opening chapter and the light bulb comes on, but not until after you’ve sent it to the top five agents on your list.

What’s a girl to do? Or guy–but a lot of guys I know would just shrug it off. And that’s not such a bad idea. With one caveat. Do better next time.

The journey from beginner to published writer is long and bumpy. I really believe there are no short cuts, only different paths.  Persistence often has the last word. So make those mistakes and move on.

Happy writing!

One New Year’s Resolution

6 January 2012

I have only one New Year’s resolution: Think better thoughts.

I used to write long lists of resolutions every New Year’s Eve. On the lists were things I was determined to do, and others I was determined never to do again. Rules I would eventually break within a matter of hours or days.

I stopped making New Year’s resolutions long ago, realizing that sheer will power is not enough to bring about change. Not that I don’t set goals. I believe that goal setting and making To Do lists are crucial for success. What I no longer try are white-knuckle ultimatums such as “starting at 12:01am, January 1st, I will never eat sweets again…”

The truth is we can only change from the inside out. We first must change our thoughts before we can ever change our actions.

Several years ago I saw a quote in a newsletter that has helped me improve my thought patterns in many areas of life:

“Your children will become what you are, so be what you want them to be.” ~David Bly

I clipped it out and taped it inside the door of an armoire I use as a desk and dwell on it often. It helps me remember to work on who I am as a person, making it much harder to act in self-destructing ways. “Do what I say, not as I do,” is not a parenting strategy. We must be an example.

When I am tempted to act in ways that will have a negative impact on myself or others, I try to stop and ask myself questions such as: Do I want my child to be the kind of person who will eat yet another piece of cake when he or she is already full? What are the consequences?

What advice would I give a child or a close friend if they wanted to pursue a dream? If they wanted to give up?

If we pause and think about the truth before we act, it can help us make the right decisions. And one good decision leads to the next. We are the sum of our thoughts. Think better thoughts and you will make better choices. Make better choices and you will have a better life.

We will never be perfect, but if we focus on being the person we want to be, from the inside out, we will see positive change in the long run.

Wishing you many happy thoughts and a blessed new year!

It is Better to Have Loved

8 December 2011

I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

(From Alfred Lord Tennyson’s poem In Memoriam 1850)

A few days ago I lost my beloved old dog, Sparky. He was a momma’s dog, preferring my company above all others. Such joy he showed every time I walked in the door. He would run through the house with jubilation, letting his little voice be heard—until the end of his days—when he could no longer bark or run, or even wag his tail.

The day came when I had to let him go. The pain of losing him is beyond words, an open wound that only time will heal.

Sometimes it’s tempting to wish you had never loved at all to avoid the pain of loss, but I know beyond any doubt, it is better to have loved.

What does this have to do with writing, or following your dreams? Risk. To follow a dream takes courage, much like the courage to love. You put it all on the line and face the very real possibility of loss. What if you fail? What if you’ve done all you can and your dreams are crushed like gravel beneath the tires of life?

Never fear giving a dream everything you’ve got, for you will always find more satisfaction in knowing you went for it, even if you fail, than you ever will by playing it safe. Follow your dreams with all your strength.

And love with all your heart.

Like a dog loves.

And you will be blessed.

Run and play, little guy, and wait for me. And remember how much you were loved.

Author Interview: Shel Delisle

28 November 2011

Today we have a special guest interview with the very talented Shel Delisle, author of the YA novel, Dolphin Girl, available on Amazon.  Click on the cover to preview!      

                                                                                                       

 

 

 

 

 

K:    Welcome Shel!   Can you tell us what your inspiration was for Dolphin Girl?

Shel:  Thanks for having me, Kristina!  I hope my answer doesn’t make you want to chase me off your blog, because it makes me sound mental—Ha!—but Jane’s voice showed up in my head one day.  She was very insistent about what she liked and didn’t like and what was going on in her life.  Fortunately, when I started writing some of it down, she wasn’t quite so talkative.  Because, really, it can be quite distressing to have an imaginary friend.  Once you’re past childhood, I mean. 

K:      What’s your writing schedule like, and do you have any rituals?

Shel:   I’ve always written stories for fun, but worked at a whole host of other jobs, some of them so bizarre that I’ll never run out of stories to tell. Then, about eight years ago, I decided to pursue publication.  At first, I was all over the place—picture books, middle grade, YA.  Write one day, take three off.  That kind of thing.One day my hubby asked, “Have you forgotten everything you learned while working?”  I knew precisely what he was saying—if I wanted a writing career, I had to treat it like a profession, instead of a hobby.  That meant goals and training and being committed and showing up every day.  So, while I try not to be rigid when I’m creating, I am pretty rigid about how much time I put into it.  For me, it’s full-time.  And then some. To be honest, I kind of envy writers who can churn out a novel with super speed and then have a lot more time to play around.  I’m definitely not that person. 

K:    I noticed Dolphin Girl is available as an e-book and paperback. What’s your opinion on e-books versus paper and ink?

Shel:  Great question!  I grew it up loving and reading paper books.  Then, for Mother’s Day in 2010, I received a Kindle as a gift from my dear hubby and stubbornly refused to use it for the first six months.  A deadline for the Whatcha’ Reading Now? web-site was what drove me to use it.  I didn’t have time to run to the store and buy Beth Revis’ Across the Universe and I needed to read it pronto, so I downloaded the book.  Once I used the Kindle, I was hooked.  So, while it was a fantastic feeling to hold the paperback of Dolphin Girlin my hands, I really believe e-books are the future of reading.

There are a bunch of reasons to switch over to e-books and e-readers, not the least of which is having access to multiple books no matter where you are.  But, the biggest reason I love e-books is the availability of books at low, low prices.  This is especially important for kids and teens.  So many titles never make it out of hardcover, and that’s a big expense for parents, especially if the child will “outgrow” the book in a year or two.  Lower prices means parents can buy more books, which in turn means kids will read more books and hopefully develop a life-long love of reading.

K:   Can you tell us what’s next?

Shel: I’m sorry, that’s top secret  : )

Okay, it’s not top secret, but I’d rather not talk about any specific projects.  I’ll have other books of mine releasing in 2012 and I hope my company Something Else Publishing can assist other authors who would like to try indie publishing, but feel the prospect of doing everything from A to Z is too daunting.   It’s been a wonderful experience for me—a lot of work—but wonderful and I’d love to share that with others!

Thanks so much for stopping by, Shel!

Thanks for having me, Kristina and I hope you’ll come visit my blog someday soon!

Will E-books Replace the Real Thing?

22 November 2011

 

Some of my favorite books and my Kindle

Has instant coffee replaced fresh brewed?

It’s not the same thing, of course. I’ve never met anyone who prefers instant coffee, except for the sake of convenience, but I have met a few people who have gone solely to e-readers.

Are paper and ink books doomed?

I don’t think so. Just as a cup of gourmet coffee made the old fashioned way is still preferred by coffee connoisseurs, I believe there will always be people like me who love the look and feel of a real book.

I wasn’t always so sure. About a year ago I had a conversation with an avid reader and book lover who had radically changed her reading habits. She was in love with her Nook. She enthusiastically explained to me how she could easily read on a treadmill with just the touch of a finger to turn the page. She went as far as to claim books were clutter and dust collectors and she had happily got rid of her large cumbersome bookcase and all the books in it. My heart stopped and I could barely breathe. I couldn’t find the words to respond. As a writer, I felt panicked when she ended the conversation by adding that she would no longer need to buy another book because she could borrow the e-versions from the library.

I refused to buy an e-reader until recently and only bought one because a book I really wanted was solely available in an e-version. When my Kindle arrived in the mail, however, I have to admit, within minutes I was in love. I was giddy, actually. All these books at my finger tips. So light! Such fun! I took it that very day to my daughter’s soccer game, and while they warmed up, I started reading a bestseller. It was like I had brought a semi-truck full of options with me, and they didn’t weigh a thing. I was smitten.

Some time has passed now and although I still love my Kindle, it hasn’t replaced my love for the real thing. I’ve found that I mostly use it to read books that I don’t have an emotional attachment to. If I really love a book, even if I already have the e-version, I will still purchase a hard copy.

If a book is really special to me, I might even own more than one. For example, through the years I’ve invested in high quality leather-bound editions of my favorite classics. I have an antique copy of Little Women that my grandmother gave me. I still love to curl up in my favorite chair with a real book and lay it open on my chest and pause to ponder a really moving passage. Sure, I could do that with my Kindle, but it’s just not the same.

I can see a day when my children grow up and have kids of their own and they’ll no longer need to drag giant text books to and from school. They’ll probably read the majority of their books on an e-reader, and that’s okay. But I believe as long as the earth spins, we will print books. Maybe much less than before, but they will still exist, and still be treasured.

Happy reading!

Embracing the Difficult

4 November 2011

When I was a child, school was easy for me.  I read voraciously, loved to write, and was good at math. I was able to get A’s throughout elementary and middle school, virtually by showing up.

Sounds nice, and it was. But it didn’t teach me how to deal with difficulty. There were challenges in other areas of my life, for sure, but school work was not one of them. Until high school, that is. Suddenly being smart wasn’t good enough. All the brains in the world won’t get you an A in chemistry if you don’t memorize the periodic table. You aren’t born knowing historical data. To get by in class you have to actually study. This was a rude awakening for me. Suddenly things were “hard” when I was used to a cake walk, and it took me a long time to accept that, evident by a period of bad grades.

I think the same thing is true about writing. If you are a naturally good storyteller, competent with words, creative, and self-disciplined, it’s not so hard to crank out a novel. You read it over and say to yourself, “not  bad!” You send out a few queries in search of an agent. And then it hits you square in the face. Rejection!

That’s when you really learn what it takes. And the lessons go on and on until you dig deeper and deeper than you ever have before. If you don’t embrace the utter difficulty of producing a really good novel, you’ll probably give up far too soon.

Psychiatrist and author M. Scott Peck, stated in the begining of his book, “The Road Less Traveled,” that life is difficult, but that as soon as you accept the fact, it becomes easier. Many times something worth doing is incredibly hard. Embrace the difficulty. Work through it in all areas of your life. It will be worth it.

Happy writing!

Does Your Writing Have the X Factor?

17 October 2011

My daughter is a big fan of Simon Cowell’s new show The X Factor, where singers of all ages compete for a five million dollar contract. It’s become a special time for us to sit together and watch the hopeful contestants vie for the big prize. We laugh, make comments, and (I) sometimes cry, as we scrutinize every performance.

It reminds me of the querying process writers go through. On the X Factor, thousands of hopefuls line up in cities all over the country for their big chance, like the thousands of query letters that land in agents’ inboxes and slush piles. A few are singled out to perform in front of the judges, like the partial and full manuscripts that are requested from only a handful of queries.

The judges (agents and editors) have decisions to make. One by one, the competition is narrowed down. The mediocre is weeded out until only the good remains. But good is never good enough. They are looking for the X Factor.

Sometimes when a contestant sings, it moves me. Gives me goose bumps. That’s the X Factor for me.

As writers, how do we stand out? Just like the participants in a singing competition, we have to practice, present ourselves in a professional manner, bring our top song, and sing it to the best of our ability. Then we hope the judges like it. If they reject it, we sing a new song.

Some will try singing on YouTube (e-publishing), and get a big break like Justin Bieber (Amanda Hocking). Some will end up singing in the shower (manuscripts in the proverbial drawer), and some will make it in the traditional sense. Regardless of their path, they might not ever win the big prize (a six-figure contract or bestseller status), but they might just move somebody one day with something they’ve written. And then they’ve won.

Keep on singing (writing).

Best Advice for Writers

30 September 2011

Have you ever noticed that often times the best advice is aggravatingly simple? For example, to lose weight, consume fewer calories than you expend. Eat less, exercise more. Ugh! Isn’t there a magic formula?

Through the years I’ve read countless articles and books on how to get published. If I had to pick one piece of advice that sums it all up, it would be this: Write the best possible book you can write.

There are many things beginning writers learn along the way that help them immensely. They finally get what “show don’t tell,” means. They learn how to plot and polish, kill their darlings, and cut adverbs. Those who are serious learn how to write a good query letter, research agents, and study the marketplace. But it all comes down to the book. Simple, yet heartening. Write the best possible book you can write.

Remember the saying about shooting for the moon so at least you’ll land among the stars? When you write, shoot for a masterpiece, a book that can’t be put down, something you’ll be proud of for years to come.

Aspiring authors often get frustrated. They want to get published—now. They’re weary of improving their craft, going back to the drawing board, querying yet another agent.

If that’s you, take heart. One of the best novels I’ve read in recent years is The Help by Kathryn Stockett. It was rejected by sixty agents, but she never gave up. The key to remember is that Stockett improved her manuscript while she was querying. After being rejected, she worked tirelessly on it until it was the best book she could possibly write.

In my opinion, it was a blessing she was rejected those first 60 times, and she’d probably agree. What if an agent had taken on an earlier version and it never sold to a publisher? Or what if a publisher had taken a chance on an earlier draft and the book never reached the beautiful, extraordinary version that it is today?

Write the best possible book you can, and then do everything in your power to make it better. It’s the most important step you can take toward getting published, and one of the few things completely in your control.

Happy writing!

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